Wind.Fire.Virus.Promise

September 2, 2020

Hurricane-force winds wreaked havoc across northern Utah on Tuesday, killing one resident, toppling hundreds of huge trees, closing schools and knocking out the power for more than 170,000 homes and businesses. Gusts reaching at least 99 mph were recorded with the worst winds concentrated north of Salt Lake County, according to the National Weather Service. Thankfully the wind was not that bad were we live.

As of September 11, 2020, a total of 7,718 fires have burned 3,354,234 acres, more than 3% of the state's roughly 100 million acres of land, making 2020 the largest wildfire season recorded in California history, according to the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection. There are also numerous fires burning on Oregon.

This morning I saw smoke in the skies again. There is fire burning on Battle Mountain near Pleasant Grove. It was eerie to see the sky and smell the smoke. This was the hottest summer on record and I can't remember the last time it rained.

The COVID-19 battle is still raging on with no real end in sight. We have had a few positive cases at school.

“Dear friends, the road ahead may be bumpy, but our destination is serene and secure. So, fasten your seatbelt, hang on through the bumps, and do what’s right. Your reward will be eternal. The Lord made a promise to the Saints in 1831 that still applies today. “Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come’ (Doctrine and Covenants 68:6).”
~ President Russell M. Nelson | June 2020

A fish and a rope...

The parable of the fish and the rope by Grandpa and Cash.

Protection scriptures...

Alma 31:5
And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, …

God’s word is powerful. It can guide us, comfort us, and give us protection. In most circumstances, His words have a more powerful effect than anything else.

I have many favorite scriptures Alma 5:26 | 2 Nephi 18:17 | Proverbs 3:5-6 are just a few of my favorites.

Alma 5:26
And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?

2 Nephi 18:17
And I will wait upon the Lord… and I will look for him.
Several years ago I had made plans to go to Oklahoma. My cousins were having an 80th birthday party for Aunt Bernice. Mark and Tiff bought my plane ticket. I was so excited because I had never been there. Dad put the beautiful stonework on Uncle Dave and Aunt Bernice’s home, and I wanted to see that too. My brother Lloyd and Aunt Kay would be at the party, along with many other cousins. I flew to Denver and waited for the connecting flight, then an announcement came that it was delayed because there were tornadoes in the area near the Oklahoma airport. I wasn’t too worried. Well, I waited at the airport until almost 9:00 that night. The flight was cancelled because there was damage at the airport, so I flew back to Salt Lake City. I was so sad; I had waited patiently and was disappointed. I know the situation turned out for the best. I’m sure there was a chance that I could have made to Oklahoma and been in the middle of the tornado at the airport. I was protected. We look to the Lord in small things and find Him there, and He doesn’t forget us in the big things… we just have to wait. Waiting is hard. Wait upon the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14… one of my favorite scriptures in Psalm.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Elder Ronald A. Rasband has called verses like these “protection scriptures.” We should all have a protection scripture that we can cling to during hard times, and to remind us to give thanks, and rejoice in good times (Jesus Christ is the Answer, An Evening with a General Authority | February 2019).

Best boys...

He specializes in the impossible...

"The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God’s realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His almighty power. Nothing is too small for His love."
~ Corrie Ten Boom

Best student...

Colby is the best piano student. He follows my suggestions and instructions, and he's making good progress. It gratifying to see him smile when he learns part of a song or the entire song! I found a fun app called Piano Maestro. It has games to learn rhythm, notes, and theory. I thought it would be a good reward after we have a lesson. Colby enjoyed it and was learning at the same time. He got to ride home with Grandpa on his scooter, so it was a very good day. Love you Colbs!

Because he will never be forgotten...

When I got home from work today, I paused for an hour or so to think about my Dad. It was 27th anniversary of his passing. I read from my journal and looked at photos of him. I feel it's important to remember him and think about him for a lot of reasons.

From an article I happened on that resonated with me:

• We think about them because we love them. In life and in death.
• We think about them because they are still a part of us. And always will be.
• We think about them because the love we shared and the loss we endured have shaped us into the person we are today.
• We think about them because we find it therapeutic. For our minds, for our hearts, and for our souls.
• We think about them because it helps us, and we hope it will help others.
• We think about them because the memories make us happy. And we need to feel that.
• We think about them because they are still ours. And we are still theirs.
• We think about them because we want to.
• We think about them because we need to.
• We carry on their legacies. We think about them because we take that responsibility seriously.
• We think about them because we won’t let them be forgotten.

From my journal:

On May 8, 1992 I found out that Dad had a mole on his back that was an unusual size and color. He had it removed but it was not healing as quickly as it should. The biopsy confirmed it was melanoma. I was so scared. The tumor was large and deep, but I felt hopeful that the doctor had removed all the cancer cells. On June 19 Dad had to have surgery to remove more of the tumor, it went well. I talked to him after the surgery and he kept telling me all the things he was thankful for.

Dad had married Alice on July 26, 1991 and was happier than I had ever seen him. They did everything together and I was grateful he had a companion that loved him. They had dreams of serving a mission and traveling. He told me he wanted to get a camper, load it up with pork and beans, and go see the United States.

Dad’s health remained good for awhile. He felt tired and lacked the energy he once had. He had a large tumor on the back of his neck that was bothering him. He went to the doctor again in July of 1993. The cancer had also metastasized to his lungs. I thought about his beautiful blue eyes and strong hands. He taught me so much. He worked so hard and cared about others. He never said unkind words, he was a peacemaker. He was without guile. I prayed everyday for a miracle.

He had worked outside all his life as a rancher and brick mason. Back in the day there was not much emphasis placed on using sun block. Dad often wore a hat but his face and neck were always exposed to the harmful rays of the sun. Melanoma is the most serious type of skin cancer. He did start treatments of radiation and chemo but it made him so sick. He and Alice made the decision to discontinue any further treatments. As a side note his mother Edna, my beloved grandmother died of melanoma in 1984. It started with a spot on her hand and within about a month she was gone. That was the first time I experienced a broken heart.

In one of the most selfless decisions, Dad moved to Ogden with Alice on August 14. Ogden was her home for most of her life. I think he knew he didn’t have much time and he wanted her to be back in her home in Ogden where she had friends, and would be more comfortable after he was gone. I remember helping them move some of their things. Dad was so sick all he could do was sit and watch. This was so uncharacteristic of him. He could work harder than anyone I have ever known. He told me he wished he could help. That made me so sad, and I did everything I could to hold back the tears. I didn’t want him to see me cry.

I stayed in Ogden and during the night I could here Dad coughing. A few days later on August 16, he was admitted to the hospital. He was there for eleven days.

I have always consider it a tender mercy that Dad and Alice moved to Ogden. It was about an hour drive for me so I could visit him everyday. If he had stayed in Cheyenne, that might not have happened. I felt sad for my brothers and sister because they didn't have the precious time with him that I did. Everyday for three weeks, after I got Chris and Mark off to school, I drove to Ogden to be with my Dad. We had some wonderful moments together. We talked and laughed, and sometimes I just held his hand. Alice and I would go get Dad a treat, like a milkshake or something that sounded good to him.

Dad started retaining fluid, it was severe, and he was bleeding internally. Dad came home from the hospital on August 27 and had to return a few days later. The doctor preformed emergency surgery to help control the bleeding but it was not effective. The doctor told me Dad’s lungs were like a wet paper towels and very fragile. But we had to try and make him more comfortable. My brothers had come to visit him after the surgery on September 1. He was so sick he could barely talk, but when they arrived he sat up and they talked and laughed for hours. Roseanne arrived later that night. My brothers went home and the very next day he was barely able to eat or talk. They had given Dad morphine and we knew it wouldn’t be long. He was so brave and never complained. Around 4:00 his breathing became very labored. He would take a deep breath and it seemed like forever before he would let it out. I saw the color leave his face and at 5:45 as Alice, Roseanne and I were holding his hands, he took his last breath.

I remembering feeling like someone from the other side of the veil had come for him. I have always thought it was his mother. They had a special bond. Dad honored his mother and father all his days. We stayed in the room with him for about an hour. It was a sacred experience. It was so difficult to say good bye. I squeezed his strong hand one more time and kissed his forehead. I felt so much gratitude for having such a wonderful father. I love him so very much.

Of course there are the endless first and tough moments to get through. As children, we look forward to firsts – the first day of school, the first time to ride a bike without training wheels, the first time to go on a date, the first time to drive a car. Firsts seem happy and are something we treasure. But, somewhere along the line, we suffer a loss, and we have to adjust. And then the firsts that come can bring about a sadness that is hard to shake.

I loved going to Cheyenne to see him and it made me so heartsick that he wouldn’t be there. I didn’t really want to go to Cheyenne for quite awhile after he died. It was never the same. I would go for walk across the prairie with him and I missed that. I missed going to church with him. I missed him making dinner for us, he loved to cooked. His ham and beans and strawberry-rhubarb crisp were delicious. I missed hearing him pray. I missed him calling me Leener or Eileenie. I was sad I couldn’t call him to wish him a Happy Birthday. Almost every Sunday he would call me or I would call him. I loved when he answered the phone and I would say Hi Dad, this is Eileen. He would say, Oh Eileenie, so glad you called. For awhile after we moved to Utah we would send messages on cassette tapes back and forth to each other. I still have some of those tapes.

He would often send a hand written letter or card and I really missed that. I loved seeing his handwriting on the paper. I missed his sound advice. I missed hearing him say, I love you. I missed saying, I love you Dad.

Dad was the glue that held our family together long after he and Mom were divorced. He loved to have gatherings at his place. He would invite all his living brothers and sisters to come, his friends, and he wanted all his children there too. I cherish the memories I have of those reunions, Dad was a wonderful host.

The last few years I have felt a sadness that he never met my grandsons. I hope he got to give them a hug before they came to earth.

Dad was a fighter, but getting cancer is a whole other kind of battle. I’m so grateful for the 36 years I had with him. One time when I was visiting with Dad in the hospital, he looked at me and said, I wish God would give me two more years. He started to cry and said he was worried about Alice, and he was worried about his kids because we were worried about him. He was always thinking about others.

In truth, I think about him everyday. I have a picture of him that I see everyday. I have his belt and buckle that I see everyday. He was a good man, he always gave others the benefit of the doubt.

I love you Dad! 

ThrowBack Thursday ~ September Birthday Boys!

 It's birthday month for Christopher, Cash, and Colby!

Peaches...

...at their very best...

 

"We should love people for what they are at their very best, the totality of all their highest moments from every age." 

 "What Seek Ye" ~ Michael Wilcox