Bye, Bye for now ~ Part 2...

Well Sunday came and Mom continued to get weaker and was mostly unresponsive. She didn't eat anything all week. She would sometimes take a sip of water. I was always so grateful to the nurses and CNA's. They gave her a bath every few days and put on a pretty new nightgown. They made sure she was comfortable and I do not think she was ever in pain. The only time she seemed uncomfortable is when they repositioned her.

 

We loved this purple nightgown, we thought it was a lovely color on her. Jimmy came almost everyday and it was comforting for Lloyd and I to have him there.

Mom's hands were so bruised and covered with age spots. She didn't like the way they looked. Before she was so sick, she would look at them and say my hands look bad. But I thought they were beautiful. One morning Lloyd left early to go see her. Later on he needed to run an errand and I hadn't arrived yet. He was holding her hand and she didn't want to let go, so he said he implemented an old Indian trick. He put the remote in her hand so she would think he was still holding her hand. It worked, my cute brother Lloyd!

 

So I was alone with Mom, and a notice came across the television for a severe thunderstorm warning. For a moment I thought, I hope we don't have a tornado. A few minutes later my phone light up with a tornado warning and then it started to hail and the winds picked up. The warning lights at Davis began to flash and Heidi walked in Mom's room. 

I was so relieved to see her. The nurses told us everyone had to be evacuated to the basement. She helped me push Mom's bed into the elevator. Mom slept through the entire experience. We heard there was a tornado that did touch down by Archer. There was some flooding and branches down. Wyoming weather!

The nurse kept telling us she didn't have long, but she kept fighting and I kept praying. I told her many times that it was okay for her to go. One time when I said that she replied, "I don't want to cut in line."

So I don't forget here a few other things she said: 

When she was still in the hospital she would say, I don't know if I'm up down over under around or through. Sometimes she would say, I don't know what I'm suppose to do. Lloyd reminded her she was really sick and that she probably wasn't going to get better. He told her she should say a prayer. Mom said, I don't know how to do that. Lloyd said, you do know how to pray, you taught us to pray. When Lloyd told me about this conversation I cried. I told him he was wonderful, and he said, a cowboy's gotta do, what a cowboy's gotta do. I love him.

One day she said, "We have to have a plan, we need to put our heads together and figure this out." She would say, "Ready to go." She also said, "Let's get on the stick." Another time she said, "Mom, Mom." She asked me for her purse a few times. One time she said, "Isn't this fantastic!" 

On July 12th she said, "I love you and if I don't see you, Hi and Goodbye."

On July 13th and 14th about 6:00pm, she opened her eyes and Lloyd and I told her we loved her. She said, "I love you" and "love you, love you" and smiled. That gave us strength to go on.

One day I was standing by her bed and she said, "We need to have a signal." I asked her, what will our signal be? She didn't say anything so I said maybe I could squeeze your hand and that would be our signal. She smiled and from then on I would squeeze her hand often.

I stroked Mom's forehead and hair, I kissed her, I sang to her, I put lotion on her hands and face, I held her hand and kissed it... I sat by her bed most of the time. Only a few times did I walk outside, I didn't want her to ever be alone.

Sunday, July 13th, Lloyd and I had a feeling we should spend the night. He sat in the recliner and fell right to sleep. He started snoring like a grizzly and between that and Mom's labored breathing I thought there wasn't much chance I would get any sleep. I just laughed out loud but amazingly enough I did fall asleep for a few hours. Morning came and we settled in for another day to be with Mom.

Lloyd was so tired Monday night and he had an early meeting, so I told him I would stay with her. It was a very sacred experience to be with her. I would sleep for a bit, then sit by her bed and hold her hand. I prayed that she could go. Tuesday morning about 5:30 I noticed a gurgling sound in her breathing. I asked the nurse to check her and she said to tell the family to come.

My brother was sleeping outside in his big rig. Knowing Marion was nearby was comforting. I text Lloyd and Marion and they came right away. Several hours came and went and we kept our vigil. The nurse came in about 11:00 and said that Mom was very much alive. This surprised and confused us, so we hunkered down for another day of waiting. By then Kenny, Heidi, Troy and Jimmy were there also. At one point Lloyd said, maybe we need to open a window so when she is ready she has a way to get out! 

After awhile everyone was getting hungry and Lloyd wanted me to go with them to get lunch. He and Marion were worried about me and thought I needed a break. Lloyd said he would flip me for it and I won the toss. I had a feeling I should stay so Lloyd ran an errand and everyone but Kenny and I went to have lunch. Kenny was standing by Mom's bed and he stroked her hair and told her he loved her. I told everyone to tell her it was okay to go, so he did that as well. 

I text Tim to tell him what the nurse said and ask him to pray she could be released. He knelt down in Utah and by the power of the Priesthood prayed for her release. About 15 minutes later she stopped gurgling. I told Kenny that I thought she was going. She took three more quiet breaths and I saw that her chest was not rising and I said to Kenny, I think she's gone. I called for the nurse and he listened for a heart beat and found none. She had passed so peacefully. I have no doubt that the Lord heard Tim's prayer and the prayers that were offered by many others. It was a very sacred experience for Tim and me. I will be forever grateful for that tender mercy. The nurse opened the blinds and let the sun shine on Mom. She look so soft and tranquil.

I said to Mom, "You did it, you did it!!" I went in the bathroom and fell to my knees. I offered a prayer a deep gratitude to my Heavenly Father for allowing me this precious time with Mom.

I called Lloyd and told him she was gone, he was on his way back to Davis. I felt so bad because he wanted to be with her when she passed. He said it was all right because someone was with her. I called Heidi and told her. Everyone came in Mom's room and we all cried and hugged, it brought us even closer. 

The nurse put this lantern outside Mom's room to indicate she had passed away.

After we kissed Mom and said our final goodbye's we went outside.

Jimmy and Heidi released a balloon that Heidi had given Mom on her birthday. 

We all said that we felt peace.

 

The Nazarene church we went to as children was sold and remodeled, and is now Schrader's Funeral Home. Lloyd and went there to make the arrangements for Mom. 

It was very nostalgic to go back, Lloyd and I hadn't been inside for many years. It brought back happy memories. The windows use to be stained glass.

Dad helped build it and Grandma Federer was a lifelong member.

Lloyd and I went back to Off the Hook Ranch and wrote her obituary. It was simple and we thought it was a sweet tribute to our beloved mother and grandmother. Lloyd made me dinner, hot dogs and chips! 

In Memory of Nelle Eileen Ames Federer Kennedy

Mrs. Nelle E. (Ames) Kennedy, 82, of Cheyenne, Wyoming, passed away Tuesday, July 15, 2014, at the Davis Hospice Center.
 
Mrs. Kennedy was born July 11, 1932, in Cheyenne, a daughter of the late Arlo and Carol (Butcher) Ames. Nelle was a devoted mother, homemaker and expert seamstress who could accomplish anything she set her mind to. She was a wonderful cook and her signature dish was beef and noodles. She also made many beautiful birthday and wedding cakes. Nelle had an uncanny way of making all in her reach feel important and loved. She had a generous heart, putting others needs above her own. She never missed a chance to help others in need. She will be remembered as a loving mother who gave her children all that she could. They were aware of her work, worry and sacrifice. She was a gift of God.
 
Nelle is survived by six children, Kenny Federer of Cheyenne, Annie Federer of Ft. Collins, CO, Marion Federer of Rock Springs, WY, Ernie Federer (Marilyn) of Cheyenne, Lloyd Federer of Cheyenne, and Eileen Federer Williams (Tim) of Highland, UT; a sister, Mildred Warr of Little Rock, AR; a brother, Ken Ames of Denver, CO; and Grannie to her 16 grandchildren, 36 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great-grandchild.
 
She is preceded in death by her parents and two sons, Les Federer and Kevin Federer.
 
Services by her family will be held at a later date. Cremation is under the direction of Schrader Funeral Home.
 
A sincere note of appreciation to Davis Hospice for their excellent and compassionate care. The past few weeks spent at her bedside will be cherished by her family. “Bye, bye for now”. We love you Mom! 

Mom almost always concluded our phone conversations by saying, "Bye, Bye for now." As I walked out of her room at Davis, I said one last time, "Bye, Bye for now" and I believe and know that our separation is for now, not forever. One day we will have a glorious reunion. I love you Mom. 

Comments on Facebook regarding Mom's obituary:

Cathy Wagner I read the obituary in the Wyoming Tribune. It was a wonderful statement of Nelle’s life--what she was and all that was important to her. Please extend my sympathies to the rest of your family. I so remember many of your older siblings staying with us when your mother would be in the hospital with a new baby! And, that your mother drove to the country to visit my mother when she was no longer able to get out and how much I appreciated that. Many great memories. 

Carlene Federer Beautifully written Eileen thanks for sharing and I'm so glad the service isn't until later so we can attend. Thinking of you, take care. xo

Karen Holmstead I'm so sorry about your Mom! Thoughts and prayers are with you! Hugs Karen

Pamela Ausman Williams Beautiful obituary, Eileen. It's hard being an orphan!

Judy Clayton My heart goes out to you. You were so blessed to have such a good mom.

Pamela Bartz Benton She was a wonderful lady and my heart goes out to all of you on your loss. Love you all.

Mary Larson but you will get to be with her again later.

Patti Nelson I see this face and it pulls at my heartstrings in so many wonderful ways. The flood of memories in the Federer household, the pastures, Cheyenne, your church, Frontier Days ... and of course those amazing noodles. These will always be part of us & treasured more than any earthly thing. CIP Aunt Nelle (Celebrate in Peace)

Michelle Born Siegel What a wonderful mother. You were so blessed to have her as your mom.

Rebecca Diehl Rainer What a beautiful tribute to your mom, Eileen. Hugs and love...

Diane Deering What a wonderful tribute to your mom. So many memories of her and you kids. It's so hard to let go, I miss her so much! Love to all of you.
Linda Sue Warr This particular photo always reminded me of Les.....because of the resemblance....anybody else?......love you, Eileen!

Marsha Chappell A wonderful tribute - it's never easy to lose your Mom no matter when or how old she was. Thoughts and prayers

Life is eternal; and love is immortal; death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. ~ R.W. Raymond

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The eternal truths of the gospel gives me peace, even "the peace which passeth all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).